


break upon the waves

by somehowunbroken



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Military
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-11
Updated: 2011-07-11
Packaged: 2017-10-21 06:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowunbroken/pseuds/somehowunbroken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a case draws Steve back to the SEALs and the life he thought he'd never be pulled back into, he comes to some realizations and has to make a choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	break upon the waves

**Author's Note:**

> Many, many thanks to camshaft22 and padfootthegrim for alpha reading services and general cheerleading, and to stormylullabye and shinysylver for beta reading this and taking it from a decent story to something that actually flows together and reads well. Thanks from the bottom of my heart to all of you.
> 
> Art was made by shinysylver - thank you so much! Click on the image for a link to the full size art - it really does a great job of illustrating the story :)
> 
> The soundtrack to this story can be found [here](http://somehowunbroken.livejournal.com/131259.html). 15 songs, 1.1 hours.

[   
](http://i1194.photobucket.com/albums/aa366/shinysylver/breakuponthewavesheader.jpg)

  
_There’s a hail of bullets from somewhere, an explosion to the left, and Steve swears, swerves, ducks and rolls behind the nearest storage container. There’s more swearing from behind him, and Steve can feel the smile stretch thinly across his lips as Danny rants and raves._

 _“-swear to God, McGarrett, I’m going to rip your arms off and beat you with them. When I said ‘wait for backup’ and you agreed, you fucker, I meant_ both of us _, not just me.”_

 _“Sorry, Danno,” Steve says calmly over his shoulder, knowing his voice will carry to where Danny’s crouched beside the next storage container._

 _“Sorry,” Danny mutters. “Sorry, he says, like I believe him. I don’t believe you,” he directs at Steve. “I so don’t believe you. No blowjobs for a week, you crazy motherfucker, that’s how much I don’t believe you.”_

 _“Aw, it’s not that bad,” Steve replies immediately in a voice that Danny would label as whining if Steve ever asked, which is part of why Steve never does. “C’mon, Danny. We’re doing fine.”_

 _“I hate you,” Danny replies succinctly as his eyes dart around. The gunfire has stopped, at least for the moment, so Danny tucks in and throws his body across the gap between them._

 _Shots ring out; Danny’s body goes limp as he lands gracelessly next to Steve, blood pooling too quickly beneath him as Steve grabs at him frantically. “Danny, shit, Danny, stay with me, babe,” he says a little hysterically, trying to put pressure on the hole in Danny’s chest. But there are too many holes, too much blood, and Danny’s head flops back as Steve begs and pleads and bargains with him._

 _“Danny,_ God _-”_

 _“Fucker,” Danny’s dead body says to him. “If you had been here, I’d be fine, you know that. It’s your fault I’m dead.”_

 _And suddenly Danny’s so far away, across ocean and forest and jungle and desert, half a world between them though Steve can still see his crumpled form behind the storage container._

 _“You just had to go, didn’t you,” Danny’s body says, cruel and heartless._

 _“I had to,” Steve says helplessly. “Danny-”_

 _“Fuck you,” Danny’s body tells him, and then Chin and Kono are beside his body. Chin’s shooting over the top of the storage container, methodically dropping the gangbangers, while Kono grabs Danny’s body and pulls it to her own, red blood seeping out and staining her clothing. She’s talking to Danny, shaking him, but all Steve can hear is Danny as Danny’s lifeless eyes somehow meet his, miles and miles away. “Fuck you, McGarrett. If I had actually meant anything to you, you would have been here.”_

Steve wakes with sweat pouring down his body. He’s shaking, too, but he’s pretty damn grateful he’s not screaming. Screaming would mean giving away his location; screaming would mean being found almost instantly. Screaming would mean dying; it would mean never getting back to Danny.

Screaming might make his nightmare come true.

-0-

When Steve had arrived in Hawaii for his father’s funeral, his plans had been straightforward: attend the service, find Hesse and kill the bastard once and for all, then get back on the road. He hadn’t planned on Danny; then again, Danny’s hard to plan on when you know he’s headed straight for you, and Steve hadn’t had the first fucking clue what he was in for when he’d first met the man.

Even when Steve had accepted the Governor’s offer, when he’d let her form Five-0 around him, when he’d transferred to the Reserves, when he’d forcibly pulled Danny into his life and his investigation and the whirlwind that everything became, he still hadn’t really expected to _stay_. He’d done the team thing before; some of his assignments had been solo work, but there had been operations with units as well. Teams weren’t his idea of a good time – too many variables, too much he couldn’t directly control, too much left to people who weren’t him; he hadn’t expected to click instantly with Danny and Chin and Kono. He hadn’t expected to slide perfectly into his role as Danny’s partner, to take to the bickering and teasing and banter and like it. He really hadn’t expected to come to depend on the detective, to draw him into his personal life as well as his task force, and if you’d said it on the day he’d met Danny Williams, Steve would have laughed in your face if you’d suggested he’d wake up one day to find himself head over heels for the man.

It had happened, though, and maybe the thing that Steve had expected the least about it was that Danny hadn’t even been surprised when Steve had shown up at his house late at night, about a year into their partnership, soaking wet because he’d walked instead of driving. He’d let Steve through the door, locked it behind them, and turned to face him with a little smile on his face. There had been no mockery in it, nothing teasing at all, just an expression that said _I’m glad you finally figured it out_ , and then their lips had met as hands found skin and that had been that.

And sure, yeah, there had been times when he missed being a SEAL, times when he had desperately wanted to do something on his own because he could do it better that way, because he wouldn’t have to worry about anyone getting hurt that way. And there had been times that he kind of missed the way he’d always been able to lose himself in it before, when he’d drop into a place and complete his objective and be airlifted out within a span of days, sometimes hours. He had missed it, but the more time he’d spent with his team, with Danny, the more Steve had realized it was like the way Danny missed New Jersey: it was nostalgia, fond memories of what had been, but with no real longing to return there. Steve was well and truly happy with his place in Hawaii, with Five-0 and with Danny, and he still thought about his SEAL days, but he was at peace with leaving them in the past.

And then the call had arrived.

-0-

The mission this time is pretty straightforward: there are three targets to be eliminated, and they’re all in the same camp, for once. Steve knows who they are and what they’ve done; it’s his job to know. It’s the entire reason he’s here.

Steve slinks through the brush, edging closer and closer to the targets. There are others in the camp, others with titles like _unimportant_ and _possible collateral damage_. He’s not here to take them out, but he’s not here to make sure they make it out alive, either. He’s supposed to take care of his three targets and disappear into the jungle. He’s supposed to kill them and make it back to the evac site.

The problem now is that he can’t get the phrase _possible collateral damage_ out of his head as he’s sighting his rifle. He’s got that damn dream in his head, the one where that collateral damage is Danny, and even though the people below him are dark-haired and dark-skinned they all suddenly remind him of his partner. One of the others in the camp is a kid, maybe thirteen, fourteen years old, and she laughs like Grace, clear and free as if she doesn’t know that trouble exists.

Fuck.

Steve steadily ignores the twinge in his lower back that says he’s been lying in this position for too long and checks his watch again. He’s got four hours until his ride out of this hellhole leaves, and it’s going to take at least half of that to hike to his rendezvous point. Two hours, then; one and a half, to be safe.

He settles himself in to wait a little longer. Maybe a better shot will come up.

In the end, though, one doesn’t, and when he shoots his three targets he takes out two of the others in the camp. Steve tries hard to ignore the way the phrase _possible collateral damage_ rattles around in his head as he makes his way silently through the forest.

-0-

The call itself is short enough; it’s from an ensign stationed at Hickam, looking for Lieutenant Commander McGarrett, _sir, we need you to report to the base, something has come up_.

“What was that about?” Danny asks, walking out of the bathroom after his shower, towel secure around his hips.

“I honestly have no idea,” Steve replies, but he has a feeling it’s nothing good. “Apparently they need me over at Hickam for something.”

“Give me five,” Danny says, already reaching for the drawer when Steve speaks.

“No,” he replies, still looking at his phone as the feeling crawling in his gut _not good not good not good_ intensifies. “It’s not a case. Admiral Moore needs to speak to Commander McGarrett.”

Danny’s hand falls and rests against his side for a moment. “You don’t think-”

“I don’t know,” Steve replies, standing and reaching past Danny to pull the drawer open, grabbing at clothing that’s slightly more formal, slightly more starched than he’s used to wearing any more. “I’m gonna go talk to him, see what the deal is. I’ll be in later.”

“Hey.” Danny’s hand catches his wrist as he straightens his shirt out. “You okay, babe?”

Steve sighs and leans in to give Danny a kiss, quick and chaste, a bare brush of lips. “Let me get this over with and I will be.”

The look in Danny’s eyes says he doesn’t really believe what Steve’s saying, but he lets it go after another quick press of his lips against Steve’s. “Okay,” he murmurs. “Try not to get shot today.”

It’s their normal morning routine for all it’s not a normal day, and Steve can’t help the smile that passes across his face, the way he can feel his entire expression soften. “I will do my best,” he promises, just like he always does. Twenty minutes later, he’s pulling into a parking spot on base.

Rear Admiral Lucas Moore is brisk and solid, and he moves like he’s seen action, like he knows the value of each step. He stands when Steve enters the room and shakes his hand. “Commander McGarrett.”

“Admiral Moore,” Steve replies, standing until the admiral gestures at the seat. “What’s the situation, sir?”

Moore outlines things in black and white. News and rumors have been circulating since Wo Fat had been taken out last year; most of the gossip had been about takeovers and infighting and collapses within his network, which had apparently been entirely unprepared for the sudden removal of its leader. Most of Wo Fat’s enterprises are, by now, either shut down or of minimal risk; very little of what he had started is a threat to anyone.

Steve knows this. He’s made sure of a good deal of it himself.

“Things are changing,” Moore says, pulling a few sheets of paper from a folder on his desk. “One of the analysts picked out a few random things – you know how analysts are – and connected some dots we hadn’t seen before, and there’s trouble brewing.”

Trouble, it turns out, is in the form of one of Wo Fat’s old second-in-commands, a man by the name of Jun Wu. “His name keeps coming up in connection to a ring of human traffickers,” Moore tells Steve. “We’ve been keeping tabs on it, but it’s time to take some action.”

Moore leans back in his chair and folds his hands over his stomach, elbows resting on the sides of his chair. Steve looks at him for a moment before clicking all of the pieces of the puzzle together in his head. “You’re reactivating me. Sending me after Jun Wu.”

“Yes and no,” Moore replies, making a teetering motion with his hand. “The Navy isn’t unaware of your task force, Commander. You’re doing important work here, and that isn’t taken lightly. However, your familiarity with the case and its players would prove invaluable.”

“A choice,” Steve says slowly. “You’re giving me the choice.”

“Yes,” Moore responds. “You have the choice, Commander, We’ll get to him with or without your help; however, your history here and the drive and determination that you’ve displayed in the past led me to believe that you might be interested in joining the mission.”

“It’s not like the Navy to give choices,” Steve says bluntly. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been _offered_ a mission, take it or leave it.” He sort of wonders what Danny would call the face he’s wearing; probably something along the lines of Calling You On Your Bullshit Face, maybe some variant of Aneurysm Face.

“Like I said, Commander, the Navy isn’t ready to ignore what you’re doing here. You’re leading a team that has stopped an impressive number of criminals, some with very distinguished names.” He pauses, looking like he’s weighing his words. “Jun Wu needs to be stopped; you have the skills with which to stop him, as well as the knowledge necessary to lead a team to do so. However, if you feel that your role as the leader of the Five-0 task force is more important at this point, the Navy will respect that and find someone else to do the job.”

This, Steve thinks as he stares at Moore, this is the one thing he’d really liked about the military. He’d enjoyed, to a certain extent, not having to make this kind of decision. You’re told what to do, where to go; you pack up and get on that ship when they tell you to, jump off and swim away when they give the sign. You don’t have to weigh and worry about your options..

It’s much worse this way, Steve is realizing.

“Do I have to give you an answer right now?” he finally asks, and his voice sounds a little flat to his own ears, but Moore doesn’t seem to notice.

“No,” Moore replies. “Within a day, but no, not this very second.”

Steve nods as Moore pulls a card from his desk and writes a phone number on the back. “Twenty-four hours,” Moore tells him as he hands Steve the card. “If you’re not going on this mission, we need to find someone else.”

-0-

Steve makes it to the rendezvous point with seven minutes to spare. The evac chopper is right on schedule, sending a line down as it hovers just above the canopy, and Steve straps himself in and signals for the team to pull him up. The chopper is already speeding away from the site as strong arms pull Steve inside and snap a set of headphones over his ears.

“Targets?” one of the men asks. Air Force, Steve recognizes, and an officer to boot. He’s probably the contact officer for this particular evac.

“Neutralized,” Steve replies, and the man nods and reaches for a handheld radio. He switches it on and taps on the microphone, a seemingly abstract pattern of fast and slow that can be picked up by anyone but recognized by precious few. Steve knows he’s communicating with base camp, letting them know that Steve had completed his mission and been airlifted out safely.

He goes on and on, tapping out different rhythms for as long as Steve is watching, but eventually Steve lets his eyes drift closed as he leans against the bulkhead, slipping into sleep as they travel north to safety.

 _Grace is running around in the surf, shrieking with glee as the water sprays up around her face. It looks like she’s having the time of her life out there, running back and forth in the shallow water behind Steve’s house. Danny is up on the lanai, Longboard in hand, smiling as he watches her play. He makes his way to one of the chairs closer to the water’s edge, and as Steve watches, he sits there and talks to his daughter, laughing as she smiles up at him._

 _But suddenly Grace is yelling – screaming, more like, and as Steve watches in horror, she drifts away from shore, farther and farther away. Danny runs into the water and reaches for her frantically, calling her name, swimming and swimming and swimming until Steve can’t see either of them. He keeps searching, though, until he sees Danny’s head bobbing through the surf, pulling a small, frail form with him._

 _Steve stands frozen, watching as Danny drags Grace’s lifeless body from the water and dumps her on the sand, pounding her chest and breathing for her until he collapses in the sand, sobbing and screaming his daughter’s name. Steve can’t do anything but watch, watch as Danny holds Grace’s cold hand between his own._

 _He looks up and meets Steve’s eyes. “You know I don’t swim as well as you do,” he accuses. “Fuck you, McGarrett. If you’d been here like you should have, Grace would have been swimming with you. She’d be fine, she’d be laughing and making sand castles, she’d have a life, a future, but no – no, you had to go running off, leaving us here, didn’t you? Some fucking hero,” Danny spits, looking all at once disgusted by Steve and heartbroken over his loss. He scoops Grace up off the sand and holds her body to his, and Steve watches as Grace’s arms dangle and sway with the movement. Her head tilts towards Steve, and he can see how her skin is already growing waxy, her eyes filming over._

 _“I didn’t want to drown, Steve,” she tells him in that reproachful tone that only eleven-year-old girls can accomplish. “Why didn’t you save me? Why weren’t you here?”_

“-fucking _Christ_ , McGarrett, snap out of it!”

Steve’s eyes snap open, and he sees the Air Force colonel bent over the seat to grab at Steve’s arm. He blinks the nightmare away, focuses on breathing in and out until he’s got his heart under control, and very resolutely does not meet the eyes of anyone else in the chopper.

“You good?” the colonel asks, far more sympathy in his voice than Steve was expecting to hear.

“Yes, sir,” Steve rasps, though good isn’t a word he’d use to describe himself, not now, not any more, and not any time in the near future.

The colonel levels him with a look that calls his bullshit pretty clearly, but he doesn’t say a word as he turns back around. Steve takes in a deep breath of air, pinching the bridge of his nose as he leans back against the bulkhead and takes another steadying breath.

-0-

He calls Danny from the car; it barely hits the second ring before Danny picks up. “Babe?”

“Home,” Steve says, raking one hand through his hair while squeaking the truck around a curve with the other. “Danny, I need – we have to talk, okay, can you just-”

There’s a rustling sound and Danny’s voice is muffled; Steve can picture him perfectly, holding the mouthpiece of the phone against his chest as he talks to someone near him. A moment later, Danny’s speaking into the phone again, voice low and soothing. “Where are you, babe?”

“Ten minutes out,” Steve replies, checking his surroundings. It should be a fifteen-minute drive from here, but he knows himself well enough to realize that it’s not going to take that long. “I’ll probably beat you there, I just-”

“Steve, stay on the phone with me, okay?” Danny is using the voice he brings out when he’s talking to victims, calm and comforting, and Steve wonders how wrecked he sounds. “I’m getting into the car now, pulling out of headquarters. I’ll be home in ten, too.”

“Don’t speed,” Steve says automatically, both hands gripping the wheel now.

“Don’t you, either,” Danny replies, and there’s a hint of teasing in there, like he knows that Steve’s farther away than he says he is. Hell, Steve thinks, Danny’s probably perfectly aware of that fact.

They end up pulling into the driveway at home within a minute of each other; Danny’s climbing out of the Camaro when Steve pulls his truck into the driveway, and he’s by the door as Steve slides out. Danny’s arms immediately go around Steve’s waist, holding him tightly.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Danny murmurs to him. “Whatever it is, babe, it’s going to be okay, you hear me?”

Steve’s not sure why that makes him feel better, but it does.

They stand for a few minutes like that, holding each other in the driveway, and when Steve steps back, the world feels a little more solid under his feet. “Let’s go inside,” he says quietly, and Danny reaches for his hand, pulling him towards the house.

Steve can’t sit still while he explains the situation to Danny. He tries, at first, to sit beside his partner and give him the details, to talk about Jun Wu and human trafficking, but it’s not long before he has to stand, to pace around the room while he weighs the options, listing facts and arguing with himself. Through it all, Danny sits on the couch, unusually quiet.

“What,” Steve finally says, collapsing down beside him. “What, you have nothing to say on the matter, really? You?”

“Babe,” Danny says, voice far gentler than Steve had been expecting, “you gotta do what you gotta do here.”

“You think I should go.” Steve wonders if his voice sounds as flat as he thinks it does.

“I think you need to decide what you need,” Danny says carefully. “This is one of those things that I can’t decide for you, Steve. Do I have my opinions? Of course I do. Do I have my preferences? Yeah, babe, you better believe I do. But in the end, this is one of those things that you have to decide. If you let me decide it for you, you’re not gonna be able to look yourself in the mirror.” His voice is low and even. “You gotta do this for yourself, babe.”

“Danny,” Steve tries. He doesn’t know how to put it into words, feeling like he has to go and has to stay, like he can’t face leaving his team, his family, Danny himself, but he also can’t face leaving Jun Wu out there, terrorizing families and ruining lives. “I don’t know what to do,” he says, and admitting it is difficult but he feels better for having said it.

Danny is silent for a moment. “When do you have to make the decision?”

“Soon,” Steve tells him. “I have to let him know tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Danny says, “okay, we’re taking today off, you and me. We’re going to spend some time talking it through and some time not talking at all, and in the morning, you’ll call Admiral Moore back and let him know. How’s that sound?”

Steve crooks a smile. “Sometimes you make a lot of sense.”

“Babe,” Danny replies with a smile, “I always make sense. Sometimes you just don’t make enough sense to understand the sense I’m making.”

“Um,” Steve blinks. “What?”

“Exactly,” Danny tells him with a laugh, leaning in to brush their lips together. “That’s my point exactly.”

-0-

Steve can feel someone settle beside him. When he glances over, he sees a guy about his age, maybe a few years younger, meeting his gaze without blinking.

“McCue,” the man offers. “Major, USAF.”

“McGarrett,” Steve replies automatically, even though the man undoubtedly knows. “Lieutenant Commander, Navy SEALs.”

McCue nods, leaning back against the bulkhead. “Who’s Grace?”

Steve stiffens and turns. “What’s it to you?”

“Hey,” McCue replies, holding his hands up in a calming gesture. “Just asking, man. You were shouting for her right before Colonel Simmons woke you up. Wife? Kid?”

“Kid,” Steve says absently, rubbing a hand over the hollow, aching feeling in his chest. “My stepdaughter, or close enough to it. She’s – she’s pretty special.”

McCue nods. “I’ve got a five-year-old named Alison, a two-year-old named Bridgette, and a ten-month old named Collin,” he offers, digging into his breast pocket and pulling out a billfold. There’s a well-worn picture inside, a smiling woman holding a baby, with two other little kids peering over the edge of the couch at their new brother. “Haven’t met him yet, but Janine’s sent a couple of pictures through.” He smiles fondly. “Can’t wait to get home and see ‘em all.”

“Yeah,” Steve replies, relaxing as he reaches into his own pocket. He studies the picture as he tilts it for McCue to see, fingers moving almost without thinking over the text on the back. Grace is in an orange bathing suit lined with yellow trim, and she and Danny are very studiously adding a seventh tower to their sandcastle monstrosity. It calms him more to see it, Grace and Danny at the water’s edge, pushing his nightmare further away and reminding him that Danny’s a good swimmer, a great swimmer, and he’d never leave Grace in the water by herself. “That’s Grace. And-”

Steve’s breath catches in his throat for a moment. DADT is gone, sure, but prejudices are still around, and it’s not exactly the safest place to be outing yourself, flying somewhere above northern China in an evac chopper. But McCue smiles at the picture, taking in Danny and Grace, Danny’s sturdy hands covering her small ones as they guide the pail up and off the mound of sand. “You live near the beach, or was this on vacation?”

“We live in Hawaii,” Steve replies softly, remembering how many photos of Grace he’d taken that day, how excited she’d been when the sandcastle had still been there in the morning – a little worse for wear, sure, but still recognizable. “I grew up there, but Danny moved from Jersey a few years ago. He and his wife divorced, she moved with the new husband and Grace, Danny up and followed.”

McCue whistles. “That’s a change for you.”

Steve nods and feels a grin tugging at his mouth. “He’s gotten used to a lot of it, but I don’t think I’m ever gonna sell him on pineapples and ham on pizza.”

“That’s a shame,” McCue laughs as Steve tucks the picture away. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

“Smart man,” Steve replies. “You should visit, tell him that. Lord knows he won’t listen to me about it.”

“You two been together since he moved there?”

Steve shakes his head. “He was there almost a year before I figured things out,” he says. “Two and a half years now, give or take.”

“Good for you,” McCue says, and it sounds like he means it, really means it. Steve’s more used to his old unit, guys who had tossed the word _fag_ around as an insult, but there’s no trace of anything like that in McCue’s voice. “There’s no way that was easy for you, being one of the first. Good for you for standing up for your right to be happy, man.”

Steve’s never quite looked at it like that before; there was some thinking about DADT and perceptions and things like that at the time, but mostly he’d been focused on Danny, on putting all those puzzle pieces together and coming up with a picture of them together and happy. He hadn’t really been considering the political ramifications of his actions; he’d just finally figured out that what he wanted was available if he’d only ask for it.

“Thanks,” he says to McCue, feeling the rest of the tension bleed from his shoulders.

-0-

They spend the day exactly as Danny had suggested. They talk, they weigh options; Danny plays devil’s advocate a lot while Steve swears at him. They pass an hour, maybe longer, making out on the couch in that unhurried way that Steve loves, where it’s more about reaffirming the connection between them than it is about getting off.

Steve coaxes Danny out into the ocean for a swim later that afternoon, and they bob in the water past the breaking point, rising with the swells and talking about normal, everyday things, Grace’s upcoming dance recital and Kono’s new boyfriend, Chin’s reunion with Malia and Rachel’s offer to let Danny have Grace for her spring break if he can manage the time off.

“It’s weird,” Danny chuckles. “She’s been awesome lately. Like, really awesome, happy to let me have her when I want, never giving me shit about just dropping by at night to see her.”

“That’s a good thing,” Steve points out. “I don’t think either of you liked hating each other.”

“This is true,” Danny agrees. “It’s just – we spent so long at each others’ throats. I guess I just didn’t really expect to move past that.”

“I’m glad you did,” Steve says simply. “Your blood pressure stays down and we get more time with Gracie. It’s pretty much a win-win.”

Danny’s smile is bright enough to reflect off the water around them as he cuts through the waves to press himself against Steve. “I wouldn’t be able to love you if you didn’t love my daughter,” he says quietly, squeezing Steve’s shoulders in his hands. “You drive me bugfuck insane most days, babe, but Jesus, I’m glad I have you.”

Danny does things like this occasionally, laying everything out in simple terms for Steve, and it takes Steve’s breath away every time. He’s never had someone like Danny in his life – someone who’s so open with his affections, someone who tosses out terms of endearment and casual touches like he’s bursting with them, and Steve is never sure how to respond to Danny’s declarations. All he can do is smile at Danny as he presses a kiss to Danny’s temple and slides his arms around Danny’s waist, and he can feel Danny’s smile against his shoulder as they cling to each other, still bobbing gently in the water.

They eventually get out of the water and make their way inside, but somewhere between deciding on pizza and calling the shop down the street Steve kisses Danny, salt and sweat on his tongue, and dinner is pretty well forgotten as Steve backs up into the counter and settles Danny between his spread thighs. There’s something in him that won’t let him unwind his arms from around Danny’s waist, won’t let him pull his mouth away, and Danny seems to be in the same place. His hands keep winding their way through Steve’s hair, down his face, around the back of his neck, and when they finally break apart, Danny rests his forehead against Steve’s and smiles at him without saying a word.

They make their way upstairs, pausing along the way to revel in each other like they rarely take the time to do. They’ve been together for nearly two and a half years, but they’ve never made love quite like this, slow and sweet and almost aching, and as they lay tangled together afterwards, Steve’s head pillowed on Danny’s chest, he mumbles out a plea. “Tell me what to do, Danny.”

Danny keeps running his hand through Steve’s hair as he sighs. There are a few moments of silence before he speaks, and when he does, it sounds like he’s measuring the weight of every word. “There’s always gonna be another one,” he finally replies. “You gotta figure out where to draw the line, babe, between what’s your fight and what isn’t. Nobody can do that for you but you.”

They fall asleep not long after, curled around each other like they’ve forgotten how to let go.

-0-

The chopper puts down just before dawn at an airstrip in northern China. The extraction team heads for the on-base housing, no doubt to catch some well-deserved sleep, but Steve’s got two more hops until he lands where he needs to be. That’s the thing about black ops; the people who lift you out bring you back to a base, where you’re put on a flight to another base, where you’re forwarded to yet another place before you’re allowed to go to your actual destination. It’s all part of the drill, part of how special forces are able to operate. If nobody knows quite where you’re coming from or where you’re headed to, nobody can leak potentially sensitive information.

Steve has no idea when the next leg of his journey will start. He’s probably got some time – not too much, not so close to the original operation, but two hours, maybe three. He’s on his own for now, so Steve notifies the sergeant on duty to call him when his ride checks in and tucks himself into the corner of the base’s rec room. He digs his phone out of his pocket, calculates the time difference in his head, and dials.

“Williams,” Steve hears after a few rings, and he lets out a breath and waits. Two seconds, three, and-

“So we caught this case the other day,” Danny starts, and Steve can hear the clatter of pans in the kitchen as Danny moves around. “Crazy sort of thing – well, it would have been crazy back in Jersey, but hey, I moved here and got myself tangled up with this crazy SEAL dude, and ever since then crazy is the new normal, so really, it wasn’t that bad.” He goes on and on, talking about the case, about the team, about his last weekend with Grace.

“We painted her trim again,” he groans, and Steve smiles widely. Grace’s favorite color changes pretty often, and Danny had put his foot down at repainting her room to match it every few months. They’d finally painted the walls a nice, neutral beige and told Grace that they’d redo the trim when she wanted a change. “It’s this crazy shade of purple, kind of like the flowers that grow on the vine in the backyard. She actually clipped one of the things off and took it to the Home Depot, and it was the same paint guy as last time we went, he just added drops of color and remixed the paint until he matched the color of this one particular spot on the flower.” Danny snorts, but Steve knows there’s nothing but affection in it. “She’s pretty particular about that paint.”

There’s a few seconds of silence, and Steve shifts and stretches out, rustling along the side of the couch. Danny starts up again almost immediately, talking about a visit to Kamekona and his new girlfriend, something about a poker game, and Steve just relaxes and lets Danny’s voice wash over him. Danny lapses into silence every fifteen minutes or so, and Steve shifts or makes a noise to let his partner know he’s still there, and Danny picks right back up.

Danny’s in the middle of relating a story his mother had told him about his newest niece – “Samantha Jane,” Danny tells him, and Steve feels a momentary burst of pride on Danny’s behalf and on Ginny’s behalf; it takes him a little longer to realize that it’s on his own behalf as well, because this is his family too – when his phone buzzes. Steve glances at his watch and isn’t really surprised to find that it’s been nearly two hours since he placed the call. Steve coughs and Danny stops mid-sentence.

There’s a few more seconds of silence, and when Danny speaks again, his voice is softer, that tone he gets when he’s not holding anything back, like he thinks his words might be able to squeeze through the phone and wrap around Steve, keep him safe when Danny’s not there to back him up. “I love you, babe. Try not to get shot today.”

Steve swallows thickly and nods, knowing there’s no way Danny can see him, knowing Danny hears what he’s not saying anyway. He waits a few more seconds, then clicks the phone off and takes a steadying breath.

By the time he walks out of the rec room, Steve is ready to get on the chopper, off to his next destination.

-0-

Waking up in the morning feels like the hardest thing Steve has ever done; he stays in bed far longer than he normally does, curled around Danny and clutching him like he’s the only thing keeping Steve from drifting down beneath the waves that his thoughts have become. Danny finally shifts against him, though, mumbling as he makes his way up out of sleep. Steve watches as he blinks his eyes open and smiles sleepily.

“Morning,” Danny mumbles softly, and something twists inside of Steve, but he doesn’t answer. Danny’s smile edges away slowly. “You made up your mind.”

“I did,” Steve agrees, wondering how he managed to do it, wondering if he’ll be able to live with himself if he changes it now. “Danny, I have to, I can’t – I just-”

“Shh,” Danny soothes, rubbing his hand down Steve’s back. “I know, babe. It’s okay.”

“You knew,” Steve says into Danny’s chest, turning so his forehead is resting there. He squeezes his eyes shut before continuing. “You knew I’d go.”

“Yeah,” Danny replies simply. “Yeah, I figured you would.”

“I don’t want to,” Steve tells him.

“I know.”

“It’s just – it’s the right thing to do.”

“Hey,” Danny interjects. “You don’t have to rationalize this to me, Steve. Like I said, you have to do what’s good for you. Nobody can make this decision for you, so if this is what lets you sleep at night, then this is what you gotta do.”

Steve is silent for a moment. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“You’ll be back when you’re done.” There’s something firm in Danny’s voice, something resolute. “That might be when you catch Jun Wu and it might not, but you’ll be back when you’re done.”

“When I’m done,” Steve repeats. “When I finish, I’ll be back.”

They lay in silence for a while longer. Danny’s hand keeps a steady rhythm on Steve’s back, a comforting weight and warmth along his spine. Steve finally rolls out of bed when the sun streams in through the slats in the blinds, afraid that if he stays in place any longer, he won’t be able to get up.

They go through their morning routine together, showering and shaving and eating breakfast, but Steve can’t bring himself to say anything, and Danny’s too busy looking at Steve to fill the silence himself. It’s like he’s trying to memorize Steve’s features, to take stock of the lines around his eyes and the way his hair falls against his forehead. To be fair, Steve is doing the same to Danny, tracing the face he knows as well as his own with his eyes, trying to burn the imprint of Danny’s smile into his mind.

Danny finishes breakfast first and takes his dishes to the sink. He starts the water as Steve grabs his plate and walks it over, and he takes it as Steve approaches. “Are you going to call, or are you just going to head over there?” he asks, swiping the sponge over the plate.

Steve leans over and takes the plate from Danny’s hand, setting it in the bottom of the sink before flicking the sponge away as well. He tugs on Danny’s hand until Danny turns into him, and then Steve is slipping his arms around Danny’s frame and holding on tightly. Danny’s arms wrap around Steve’s waist, and he presses his face into Steve’s shirt with a sigh.

They stand like that, the water still running in the sink, until the alarm goes off on one of their phones and Danny pulls back. He slides one hand up Steve’s back and tangles it in his hair.

“They’re gonna make you get a haircut,” Danny murmurs, and Steve smiles down at him.

“That’s what you feel the need to say right now?” he asks, but it’s light, teasing in a way he wasn’t sure he was capable of mustering a moment ago. “We’re facing months of separation, and you’re going to miss my hair?”

Danny’s face falls for a second, maybe less, before he forces it back into the easygoing, patient look he’s been holding since the call came in. “I’m attached to it,” Danny says with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He tugs his hand in Steve’s hair gently. “It’s a good length right now.”

“Yeah,” Steve says quietly. “It is.”

They stand for a moment more before Danny sighs and slips his hand free. “You need to get in touch with Moore.” The _before you change your mind_ goes unsaid, but Steve hears it pretty clearly anyway.

“I’ll call him,” he says, grabbing his phone out of his pocket and heading out onto the lanai.

-0-

Steve’s next stop is in Belarus; he’s not even there long enough to embarrass himself with his poor grasp of Russian before he’s on another plane. This one lands in Morocco, and he spends an uncomfortable three nights in a room with no windows before he gets on yet another plane.

When he steps off, he’s in Norfolk, and the man striding towards him is the first familiar face Steve has seen in weeks. “Admiral Moore,” Steve greets, saluting sharply.

“Commander McGarrett,” Moore replies, saluting back and gesturing towards a nearby building. “Tell me what you learned.”

Steve has had time to organize the intel he’s gathered since he set out. He lays it out as he and Moore walk towards the building, how he’s traced Jun Wu out of China and into Laos, how he’s taken out most of the infrastructure that Jun Wu had built, and how he’s already started planning the next move.

Moore nods when Steve is done. “Good work,” he says approvingly. “We’ll get you a team within a week, and you can start maneuvers with them when they’re all debriefed.” He pauses. “Ten days, Commander. I’m assuming you want to go back to Hawaii for the interim?”

Steve swallows hard against the lump in his throat, the one that wants him to scream _God, yes_ and jump on the nearest plane. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir,” he says instead, hating the way he can feel his chest constrict as the momentary hope that had flared dies away. “It’s better for me to keep my mind in the game right now.”

Moore looks at him. “You think going home will make you lose your focus?” He doesn’t sound judgmental, only curious.

“Yes, sir,” Steve says. “Seeing my family right now-” He doesn’t want to explain the nightmares, or how he’s sure that seeing Danny and Grace will make it almost impossible for him to get back on a plane and come back here, or how he knows that he’ll be distracted enough to make mistakes that he can’t afford.

Moore’s gaze softens, though, so Steve’s sure he’s letting some of it through on his expression anyway. “We can find something for you to do,” he says instead of asking further, and Steve just nods.

He knows his face is telegraphing how grateful he is.

-0-

Moore sounds a little surprised when Steve relays the news. “I have to say, Commander,” he replies after a moment, “that I was under the impression that we’d be finding someone else for this mission.”

“I’ll do it, sir,” Steve repeats. “The Navy wouldn’t have called me if they thought someone else could do it better, and I’ve talked it over with my people here.” He’s talked it over with Danny, at least, and he knows he’ll have a few days before he gets his orders. He can explain things to Chin and Kono, make it work with the Governor for the duration of his absence. Everything will work out. “I can ship out as soon as my orders come in.”

“That’s excellent, Commander,” Moore says, all authority now. “I’ll pass it along to those in charge. Expect your orders within the week.”

“Yes, sir,” Steve replies, and the call is over, his choice made. He takes a deep breath and tries to calm his twisting stomach.

Danny walks in a few minutes later. “Everything set, babe?” he asks softly.

“Yeah,” Steve says. “He said my orders will come by the end of the week.”

Danny sighs. “We’ve got some things to do before then,” he says, sitting next to Steve on the sand.

“We can tell Chin and Kono today,” Steve says. “And the Governor.”

“And Grace,” Danny adds, staring out over the water, and Steve’s stomach knots up further. He’s leaving Danny and Grace, setting out for parts unknown, and how is he supposed to explain to Grace that he’ll be back? Danny continues as if he doesn’t notice that Steve’s having a minor freak-out beside him. “And we should probably talk about updating our wills.”

“I’ll be back,” Steve says instantaneously. “Danny, don’t-”

“There is no scenario in which I do not see you fighting until your last breath to come home,” Danny replies quietly, still looking out at the ocean. “I know you will do everything in your power, babe, but even you aren’t Superman.” He smiles softly, finally turning to meet Steve’s eyes. “If it makes you uncomfortable, we can just leave things how they are. I’m pretty sure we covered all our bases when we moved in together. I just figured we should make sure.”

“Yeah,” Steve replies, leaning a little more into Danny and breathing out. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Danny snorts. “Of course I’m right,” he says, mock offended. “You should just accept that I’m always right and move on from there. Trust me, it will make things a lot easier for both of us.”

“Whatever you say, Danno,” Steve laughs. “If thinking that gets you through the day-”

“I’ll show you what gets me through the day,” Danny grumbles, climbing to his feet and dusting off his pants, but there’s a smile on his face. “Come on, let’s go. We’ve got some things to explain to some people who are going to frown at us, so let’s not put that off any longer, okay?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, standing and tugging at Danny’s hand until Danny turns and slips his arms around Steve’s waist. “We’ll go in a minute, okay?”

Danny just sighs into Steve’s chest and tightens his grip.

They drive to the Governor’s office first; he shakes Steve’s hand and thanks him for his commitment to his country and assures him that he’ll be able to step back into his role as the head of Five-0 when he makes it back. “It’s an honor,” he says as he holds his hand out again, “an honor, Commander McGarrett. You’re an American hero.”

“Thanks,” Steve says, feeling awkward but thankfully not blushing as he extricates his hand from the Governor’s. “I’ll make sure the team keeps you in the loop.”

They stop into headquarters next. Chin and Kono are sitting in their offices, but they walk into the conference room when Steve calls for them.

“So…” he begins. It had been easier to tell the Governor, someone who cares about Steve’s health and well-being in a strictly professional capacity; telling his team is entirely different. He tries to think for a few seconds, mulling the words around in his head.

“Just tell us, Boss,” Kono says, and the look on her face is half-sympathetic and half-afraid.

“We’re here for you, brah,” Chin adds, and Steve has a sudden rush of affection for his team. They’ve always had his back; there’s no reason to think they won’t support him in this, as well.

“I’ve been recalled to active duty,” he says. Chin’s face doesn’t change, but he sees how Kono’s eyes flick towards Danny. “The Navy needs someone to hunt down Wo Fat’s men, and given my familiarity with the case, they offered the mission to me.”

“Offered?” Chin asks. “As in, take it or leave it, they offered?”

Steve shrugs. “Yeah. Admiral Moore said the Navy would understand if I thought that my work with Five-0 was more important than getting Jun Wu, that they’d send someone else.” He shrugs. “I spent enough time studying him during the Wo Fat investigation that I figured it would just be easier to go myself than get someone else up to date.”

“Not everything is your fault, boss,” Kono murmurs, and Steve only has a second to think about what that means before she’s throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder. He hugs her back tightly for a moment until she thumps his back and pulls away. “You stay safe, or I’ll hunt you down and break whatever you haven’t broken on your own,” she threatens, but her smile wavers a little.

Chin steps in as soon as Kono backs away. Steve offers his hand and Chin takes it, pulling him in for a hug that’s no less fierce than Kono’s, for all that it’s shorter. “E pili mau na pomaika'i me 'oe,” he says, clapping Steve on the back. “We’ll be here.”

“Yeah,” Steve says a little roughly. “Thanks, guys.”

“No problem,” Kono says, just a shade too brightly. “When do you leave?”

Steve shrugs. “A week or so,” he estimates. “I haven’t gotten the orders yet. I’ll let you know when I figure out the details.” He clears his throat. “Did we get anything new on the Likoa’i case?”

-0-

Steve spends three days poring over intelligence related to a minor player in Jun Wu’s infrastructure, looking for anything that might lead to his target’s actual location, before he cracks. He picks up a landline and dials. The phone rings twice before he gets Danny’s groggy voice. “Williams.”

“Danny,” Steve breathes, shutting his eyes tightly.

“Steve?” Danny sounds alert now, and there’s a creaking noise, like he’s swung his legs over the side of the bed. Steve can almost see the scene painted on the backs of his eyelids. “Babe? You there?”

“Hey,” Steve manages, and suddenly, he can’t help the smile that’s spreading across his face. “Danny, hi.”

“God, it’s good to hear your voice,” Danny replies, and Steve can hear his smile, five thousand miles away. “You’re okay, right, no major injuries I should know about?”

“I’m fine,” Steve replies, and they go back and forth, easy and natural. Steve tells Danny what precious little he can – he’s getting closer to his target, he hopes to finish up soon, and he thinks he can be home before Grace’s birthday next month. Danny tells him about their latest case, about the newest temporary officer they’ve been assigned (Danny’s money is on this one not lasting the week, and really, he’s not sure why they keep trying), and about Rachel’s new business venture.

“She’s breeding and selling those little dogs, what are they, cockapoos,” Danny snorts. “She’s got a website for it and everything.”

“That sounds really terrible,” Steve offers, trying to picture Rachel caring for a bunch of puppies. The mental image makes him grin.

“It is,” Danny agrees cheerily. There’s a thumping in the background, someone talking, and Steve hears Danny cover the phone and say something. Steve glances at the calendar on the desk and does some quick mental math, the smile on his face growing impossibly wider.

A few seconds later, he hears rustling over the phone. “Steve?” Grace’s breathless voice asks. “Are you really calling us?”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Steve replies, almost choking on the words. “How are you?”

“I miss you,” she says, blunt as ever, and it sounds like she’s moving around as she talks. It’s early in Hawaii, he knows; Grace had probably woken when she heard Danny getting out of bed. Steve would feel badly about waking them if he wasn’t so damn grateful to actually be able to talk to them. There’s the sound of a cabinet opening – the one above the dishwasher; the hinge creaks when it’s opened too fast – and something hitting the counter. There’s a swishing noise a second later, and Steve can picture Grace pouring herself a bowl of cereal.

“Frosted Flakes or Kix?” he asks, and is rewarded with a giggle.

“Apple Jacks,” she says, and Steve closes his eyes and bites his lip. He remembers having an argument in the cereal aisle a few weeks before he left, Grace insisting that Fruit Loops were the best circular cereal, and Steve maintaining that nothing could beat Apple Jacks. They’d ended up with both, much to Danny’s chagrin, but he’s sure he and Grace both took note of the smile that the conversation had brought to Danny’s face.

“I told you they were better,” Steve says after a minute, and Grace laughs again, more quietly this time.

“They remind me of you,” she says, and yeah, she remembers that shopping trip, too. “I make Mom get them, too. She thinks they’re _disgusting_.”

“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” Steve informs her solemnly, and she laughs, keeps on laughing, and it’s the best sound in the world, it really is. “Hey, Grace, is your dad in the room?”

“No, he’s in the shower,” she says. “Why?”

Steve hesitates. “How is he?” Asking an eleven-year-old for information is probably not the best way to get it, but Danny will say he’s fine no matter what, and Grace won’t lie or sugarcoat the situation.

“He misses you, Steve,” Grace says quietly. “Everybody misses you. Even Mom.”

“Your mom doesn’t miss me,” Steve objects, but Grace overrules him immediately.

“Danno is crankier when you’re not here,” she insists. “And when Danno is cranky-”

“Ah,” Steve grins. “Gotcha.”

“He’s okay, though,” Grace continues. “He’s sad sometimes, and he sits on the beach and looks out at the water a lot, but he doesn’t sit around and cry or anything.”

Steve doesn’t laugh, but it’s a close thing, picturing Danny sitting around bawling into a pair of cargo pants. “That’s good to hear,” he says. “Thanks for being honest with me, Grace Face.”

“Steve, don’t call me that,” she whines, but he can hear the smile beneath the words. “I’m not a little kid any more.”

“Hmm,” Steve says thoughtfully. “You were little when I left, and it hasn’t been that long. I bet you’re still pretty little.”

“I grew an inch since you left,” she says defiantly. “I’m as tall as Dad’s shoulder now.”

 _An inch._ Steve’s gut twists. “A whole inch, huh?” he manages to say, sounding normal. “You’re gonna be taller than your dad next month if you keep that up.”

“Steve,” Grace says again, laughing now. “Dad’s not _that_ short.”

“Funny, McGarrett,” Steve hears in the background. Danny must be done with his shower. The cereal sounds repeat, and Steve pictures Danny getting his Cheerios from the cabinet and fixing his breakfast.

“Hey, Grace, can I talk to your dad for a little while?” Steve asks.

“Yeah,” Grace replies. “Love you, Steve.”

“I love you, kiddo,” he says, meaning every syllable and hoping she never forgets it. “Be good.”

“Bye,” she sighs into the phone, and then Danny’s voice is there again, telling Grace not to eat his cereal while he’s on the phone.

“So what’s different?” he asks a minute later. Steve can’t hear Grace any more; Danny has probably walked into the living room. “Suddenly you can talk?”

“I’m stateside,” Steve says. “Not – not for long. They gave me a few days’ downtime between one thing and the next.”

“A few days,” Danny repeats, and it doesn’t sound like the question Steve knows it is.

“Ten,” he answers anyway. “I could have – but if I did-” Steve pictures himself there now, eating Apple Jacks with Grace and teasing Danny about his morning hair, spending the day teaching both of them how to do pop-ups on their surfboards. “I couldn’t do it,” he finally manages. “Going home, and then coming back. I don’t think I could.”

“Jesus, Steve, we could have had ten days-” Danny cuts himself off with a sigh. “We would have liked to see you,” he continues softly. “Even if it was just a little while.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve says helplessly. “I am, Danny, you have no idea.”

“I’m pretty sure I have an idea,” Danny replies, amusement and a weary sort of sadness mixing in his voice. “I get it, babe. I don’t have to like it, but I get it.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve says again. There’s a sudden, sharp knocking on the door to the quarters he’s been assigned, and Steve pinches his nose. “Danny, I have to-”

“Yeah,” Danny sighs. “I heard.” There’s a pause. “Try not to get shot today.”

“I will do my best,” Steve says automatically. “I miss you. Go eat your Cheerios.”

Danny laughs softly. “Apple Jacks, babe,” he says. “Love you too.”

The phone clicks off a second later, and it’s only when the pounding at the door repeats that Steve shakes his head and hangs up his end as well.

-0-

Danny calls Rachel from the car. They’ve had two days to think about what they’re going to tell Grace; it hasn’t been easy, deciding which details will make it easier for her to accept and which are just too much information. In a perfect world, Steve would have a little more time to think this through – but then again, in a perfect world, he wouldn’t be leaving. He has his orders, though, as of this morning, and he’ll be reporting to Hickam on Monday.

“Hey, Rachel,” Danny says into the phone. “Listen, I know it’s not my day, but can Steve and I snag Grace for a few hours? There’s,” and here he hesitates, like he honestly has no idea what to say. “There’s something kind of important we have to tell her.”

Steve can’t hear the words Rachel is using, but he knows that tone; it’s crisp, almost sharp, and it’s the one Rachel brings out when she’s worried about something. Danny sighs. “Look, I’ll explain it to you, too,” he says. “It’s just – we’re kind of working with a limited time frame here.”

Danny listens and Steve strains to hear as Rachel’s voice drops, more subdued now. After a moment, Danny nods, even though she can’t see him. “We’ll be there in a few,” he says, and Steve takes the exit for Rachel and Stan’s house.

Grace climbs into the car fifteen minutes later, talking excitedly about her school science fair. Steve listens to her ideas and makes a few suggestions, keeping a careful eye on Danny, who’s talking to Rachel near the front gate. After a moment, Rachel lifts a hand to her mouth, then reaches out with the other and grabs Danny’s shoulder. She looks over at Steve, and he’s a little surprised to find tears in her eyes. She says something to Danny, who shakes his head, and then Rachel leans in to give Danny a quick hug before heading back to the house.

“Ready to go, Monkey?” Danny asks as he climbs back into the car and buckles his seat belt.

Grace doesn’t even pause in her description of her science fair project. “I think it could be really useful,” she insists. “Can you help me make it next weekend, Steve?”

Steve hesitates. “We’ll see, Grace Face,” he manages.

Danny shoots him a look and intervenes. “What’s this big idea you have, huh? Anything I can help you with?”

“A bath buzzer,” Grace explains. “You put it on the side of the bathtub, and then you can go in the other room while the bath is filling up. When the water gets high enough, it makes a sound, and you know it’s ready.”

“That is an excellent idea,” Danny says approvingly. “We can make that, right, Steve?”

“Absolutely,” Steve agrees. He’s already got the mechanics of it worked out in his head. He can get all the parts together and draw up some plans for Danny.

“Good,” Grace says firmly. “I told Tommy that my dads and I would make the best project in the whole fair, and he said that his idea was better.” She sniffs. “He just put a dog bowl over a bucket so it would catch the water that his messy dog drips all over the floor.”

Even after all this time, Steve still gets a little hung up when Grace refers to them as _my dads_. She’s said it before, and it’s not that it bothers him – it’s the exact opposite, actually. It blows him away that Grace thinks of him like that, and he’s pretty sure it’s one of those things he’s never going to get over.

Danny grabs his hand and squeezes as he smiles over his shoulder at Grace. “This is definitely better,” he promises.

“Way better,” Steve agrees wholeheartedly.

“So why do I get to have dinner with you tonight?” Grace asks as they pull into the driveway. Steve’s hands clench on the wheel as he parks the car and takes a deep breath.

“Let’s go inside, okay?” Danny suggests, voice too cheery, and Steve can tell that Grace sees through it as clearly as he does. “Steve and I have something to tell you.”

“Okay,” Grace replies, voice small. She’s afraid, Steve realizes with a start, and his heart starts to break right there.

They settle into the couch together, Grace firmly between Steve and Danny. She looks up at Danny as she locks a hand securely onto Steve’s forearm. “Are you and Steve breaking up?”

“What?” Danny’s eyes would look comical, if Steve were in any mood to laugh. “No, baby, no. Steve and I still love each other very much, don’t worry about that.”

“And we love you,” Steve adds, reaching over with his other hand to peel Grace’s fingers from his arm. He holds her hand in his as she turns to look at him, and he takes a deep breath. “Do you remember how we told you that I used to be in the Navy?”

“You were a SEAL,” she says promptly. “It stands for Sea, Air, and Land. You did a lot of very brave things that you’re not allowed to talk about.”

Steve smiles. “Pretty much, yeah.” His eyes flick to Danny’s, then back to Grace. “Well, when I left the SEALs, I didn’t leave all the way. I transferred to something called the Reserves, which means that if the Navy needs me for a special mission, they can call me and ask me to come back.”

“They can’t have you,” Grace says, eyes widening. Her fingers clutch at Steve’s hand and her voice gets louder as she repeats herself. “No, Steve. Tell them they can’t have you back this time.”

“It doesn’t work that way, sweetie,” Steve says gently. He and Danny had agreed that it would be for the best not to tell her it was a choice. “I’m the only one who knows how to track down a really bad guy, so they called me. This guy, Gracie,” he tells her, lifting his arm up so she can lean into his side and wrap her arm around him, “this guy is really bad. He goes into houses in other countries and steals the kids right out of their beds and then ships them away from their parents.”

“Why?” Grace asks, somewhere between astonished and terrified. “Why would he do that?”

“Because he’s a bad guy,” Danny says smoothly. “And Steve can stop him, but it means he has to go away for a while.”

Grace is breathing hard, like she’s trying not to cry. Steve watches as her eyes well up anyway.

“Is it dangerous?” she asks, voice small.

Steve hesitates, looking at Danny. He doesn’t want to lie to Grace, but there’s no way he can tell her the truth.

“Hey, Steve’s like a ninja, remember?” Danny jokes. Grace gives him a watery smile. “He’s good at getting out of danger.”

“I don’t want you to go,” she says, looking up at Steve again. She’s blinking fast, and Steve knows it’s not going to be long before she starts crying. He wraps his arm around her back and tugs at her shoulder, and Grace scrambles into his lap, flinging her arms around his neck. “I don’t want you to go, Steve,” she repeats, and that’s when the tears start, big, heavy drops against his neck.

“Hey,” he says gently rubbing at her back as Danny scoots in closer. “I’ll be back, Grace Face. It’s okay.”

It takes a while for Grace to calm down. Dinner helps, and Steve does the best to answer all of her questions throughout the night. By the time they drop her back at Rachel’s, her gaze is steady but sad.

“I’m gonna miss you,” she says, throwing her arms around Steve’s neck and holding on tightly. Steve lifts her and cradles her to his chest, even though she’s too big for that now; she’s just turned eleven, and Steve knows that under any other circumstances she’d be protesting. Tonight, though, she just holds on more tightly, one arm around his neck and one around Danny’s, until Steve makes himself bend over and put her on the ground.

“Danny,” Rachel says from a few feet away, and they all turn to face her. “I was thinking – I know it’s not your weekend, but we could trade this one for the next.”

Steve is suddenly grateful beyond words to Rachel. He stands and walks to meet her, probably surprising them both by hugging her fiercely. “Thank you,” he whispers. “I – thank you, Rachel.”

“Thank _you_ ,” she says firmly, pulling back. Her smile is thin but real, and she keeps it in place as she steps back and holds her hand out for Grace. “Come on, sweetheart, let’s get inside. You’ll see your father and Steve in a few days.”

-0-

“Hey,” Steve says when Danny answers the phone. He shifts in his bunk, sticking an arm under his head and pulling his knees up. “How are you?”

“Oh, you know,” Danny replies. “My boyfriend is on the other side of the country, soon to be the other side of the world, hunting down international terrorists and bad guys alike. My daughter is having nightmares that her stepdad is going to get killed and she’s never going to see him again. I have a case I cannot solve.” He blows out a breath. “I’m great, Steven, how are you?”

“Grace is having nightmares?” Steve asks, turning on his side with a frown. “About me?”

Danny sighs. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have told you that. It’s not fair.”

“Shit,” Steve says, swallowing against the hurt in his gut. “She shouldn’t worry about me.”

“Yeah, sure,” Danny says. “You tell her that, Steve, and see how well she takes it. I have to tell you, she doesn’t want to hear it from me or Rachel.”

“Oh,” Steve replies. He really doesn’t have an answer other than that. “Did I make it worse when I called the other day?”

“I think that made it better, at least a little,” Danny says thoughtfully. “I’ve been telling her that you’re fine, but actually talking to you probably means more than me just saying it.”

Steve lets his breath out slowly, barely aware that he was holding it to begin with. “That’s good,” he finally replies. “I wish she wouldn’t worry, though.”

“We all worry,” Danny replies. “Especially after weeks like this one.”

There’s a pause that says a thousand things before Steve speaks again. “What happened?”

There’s another sigh, and Steve notices for the first time how tired Danny sounds. “We had a raid go a little pear shaped,” he says, and Steve has the feeling that Danny’s doing some editing of the story for his benefit. “Kono got clocked in the head with a big hunk of wood and went down pretty hard, Chin might have gone a little trigger-happy making sure she didn’t get hurt any further, and Alson got a nice graze on his shoulder.”

“Is Kono-”

“She’s fine,” Danny interrupts. “Concussion, nice bruise, but she’s fine.” Danny waits a beat before adding, “Alson transferred out.”

Steve lets out a shaky laugh. “You called that one.”

“They all leave after a while,” Danny says simply. “Apparently, it takes a special brand of crazy to want to stick around here. I’ve been told that I’m difficult to work with, Kono needs to be locked up, and Chin needs professional help.” He laughs dryly. “I told them to wait until you got back, and we’d all look normal in comparison.”

Steve swallows thickly. “I’ll be home as soon as I can,” he promises.

“I know,” Danny replies.

There’s a moment of silence before Steve starts again. “Look, Danny-”

“Just stay safe,” Danny interrupts. “I know you’re shipping out. I can count, Steven.”

“I wanted to say-”

“Don’t.” It’s sharp. “I get it, okay, this might be it, this could be the end of it. I don’t want to hear you tell me goodbye.”

“I wasn’t going to say goodbye,” Steve says into the phone. It’s an outright lie, and they both know it. “I was going to say that I hope I see you soon.”

“I hope so too, babe,” Danny says. There’s a longer pause. “You’re not going to call again, are you?”

Steve closes his eyes and calls up a picture in his mind – Danny sitting on the couch in their house, tie still on but shoes toed off near the door, hair mussed from a rough day. There’s a plate on the table in front of him from dinner, and the television is on in the background, but the sound is down. It’s too easy to lose himself there, to imagine himself tucked against Danny, needling him about his love for the Yankees and the Giants.

“No,” he finally replies. “I’m probably not.”

“Okay,” Danny says softly. “Try not to get shot out there, Steve.”

Steve swallows thickly. “I will do my best.”

“Love you,” Danny says, like it’s a simple statement of truth: the sun comes up in the east, it sets in the west, Hawaii is an island in the Pacific, and Danny loves him.

“You, too,” Steve says softly, and hangs up before Danny can say anything else.

The flight to Laos has stopovers in six countries; Steve switches planes and crews in each. He doesn’t recognize a single person in any of the crews.

The team reunites in the jungle about a hundred miles north of Vientiane. There are four men besides Steve; they’re all SEALs, all younger than he is, and they all make Steve feel old like he never has before. They’re good men, though, and Steve has no doubt that they’ll get the job done.

The hike will take three days. They’ve all got a copy of the map, and they all know the route; Steve sets them up in order, Benson-Sykes-Anders-Amitz-himself, and they start the journey to the south.

They stop for the night not long after dark – there are animals in the wilderness here that make it dangerous to keep going – and set up camp. Steve tells Anders and Benson to take the first watch, sets his alarm for three hours, and crawls into his tent.

 _Danny is shouting over the gunfire, heavy in the background. Steve can’t make out what he’s saying, but he sees Kono nod and swing around, aiming for somewhere in the distance. She pulls off a few shots and tumbles gracefully to the left, rolling and coming up behind the next container._

 _“Go left, go left,” Danny is yelling, and a tall, pale man with a shock of red hair follows after Kono._

 _“Come on,” Kono shouts, but the guy grunts and spins in slow motion, red blooming over his shoulder. He looks kind of surprised as he glances down at it._

 _“Alson,” Danny shouts, reaching out to grab the guy and help him scoot back. “Shit, man, you’re fine, don’t worry.” He’s pressing something to the wound in Alson’s shoulder, but the blood is pouring from beneath Danny’s hand. “Stay with me, man, you’re gonna be fine.”_

 _“Crazy fuckers,” Alson pants out. “I should have listened – you’re all insane-”_

 _“Save it,” Kono says, and then she stands and fires into the hoard of men advancing on their position. “Not the time, brah.”_

 _“Down,” Chin snaps, suddenly coming in from the right. “Kono-”_

 _Steve watches in horror as one of the guys approaches from Kono’s left with a baseball bat. He swings at her head and she crumples, and he raises it over his head and brings it down again and again until Kono isn’t even screaming any more._

 _“Fuck you,” Chin yells, shooting wildly. He’s not looking at his targets, though; he’s looking at Steve. “Alson wouldn’t have been here if you hadn’t left. Kono wouldn’t have gotten distracted. None of this would have happened.”_

 _“I’m sorry,” Steve tries, but Chin just keeps shooting furiously over the barricade as the mob creeps ever closer._

“McGarrett,” Benson hisses, his hand hovering an inch from Steve’s mouth. “Don’t make me knock you out, man.”

“Shit,” Steve pants, knocking Benson’s hand away. “Fuck, was I-”

“We’re good,” Anders says, sticking his head into Steve’s tent. “Position is safe.”

“Shit,” Steve repeats, falling back to his sleeping mat and squeezing his eyes shut.

There’s a hesitant sort of silence, and Steve can almost feel them weighing whether or not to press him for details. They’re all saved from what would have been an awkward conversation when Steve’s watch chimes.

“Catch some sleep,” Steve tells them, jumping at the chance to get out of the stifling tent. “We’re out of here at daybreak.”

-0-

Grace has a lot of things she wants to do over the course of the weekend, and she starts listing them as soon as she gets into the car. “We have to go swimming,” she insists. “And I want to work on my science fair project, and I want to make dinner with you, and we have to watch a movie on the couch.”

“Is that all?” Danny asks, amused.

“No,” Grace says, rolling right over anything else that Danny might have said. “We should get shave ice and we should go surfing, and I want to-”

“Grace,” Danny cuts in, laughing, “we only have a couple of days, sweetheart. Let’s pick a few things off your list and see what we can do from there, okay?”

They end up spending the evening making Grace’s bath buzzer; between getting all the parts and breaking for dinner, it’s almost nine before they finish it up. Danny smiles and snaps pictures as Grace tests it out. She then orders them out of the bathroom so she can enjoy her bath. They settle her into bed afterwards, and Steve switches on the dolphin nightlight as Danny tucks the sheets in around her.

“Thank you for making my project work, Steve,” Grace says sleepily, reaching out with one arm. Steve leans in and hugs her back, brushing a kiss across her temple.

“You’re welcome, Grace Face,” he says, smiling when she half-scowls at him. “Sleep well.”

“Night,” she says, turning over and shutting her eyes. Steve stands and glances at Danny, whose face looks tight somehow. His arms are folded almost defensively across his chest, and he’s radiating unhappiness.

“Hey,” Steve says softly, moving towards the door and grabbing Danny’s arm. “What’s wrong?”

Danny seems to shake himself out of whatever funk he’s in as he smiles up at Steve. “Nothing, babe,” he replies, and it’s a lie if Steve ever heard one, but Danny shakes his head and moves past Steve, out of the room. “C’mon, bed.”

They spend the next day on the beach behind their house. Grace spends a good portion of the morning with her arms around Steve’s neck, laughing as he tows her around in the water; they float for a while, pointing up at the clouds and finding shapes. Danny wades out with them after lunch, and they splash around until Grace remembers some things she brought from Rachel’s and sprints for the house.

Grace lays out her sandcastle-building tools and patiently explains each as Steve had done the night before with the bath buzzer’s parts. There are shovels and pails and forms, and Steve nods along as Grace walks him through the basics of sandcastle construction, but he eases his way back onto the lanai and lets Danny take his position as the project grows. He grabs the camera they’d used the night before and snaps pictures as they work.

Dinner is pizza and garlic bread, and Grace nods off halfway through her current favorite movie, something starring a girl who can only sort of sing and far too much drama for Steve to follow. Danny carries her up to bed, and when he comes back down, Steve has the camera hooked up to the laptop.

“Nice pictures,” Danny says, sliding in beside him. “How many did you take?”

“A few,” Steve says absently, clicking through the folder.

“A few,” Danny snorts. “There are more than two hundred pictures in that folder, Steve. That’s more than a few.”

“Look,” Steve says, finally finding the one he’s looking for – Danny’s hands are over Grace’s, and they’re smiling as they lift one of the forms off of a tower on their castle. “I like this one.”

“Oh,” Danny says, a smile on his face. “Yeah, that’s a good one.”

They go to bed not long after. Danny sleeps soundly, but Steve spends most of the night staring at the ceiling, turning things over in his head. Grace knocks on their door as Steve decides it’s light enough to get out of bed and into his swim trunks. He slips out silently, smiling at Grace, who’s already in her bathing suit.

“Can I swim with you?” she asks, biting her lip. “Daddy says you swim for miles and miles and I might get tired, but I really want to swim with you.”

“We can swim,” Steve says, reaching for her hand. “And we won’t go miles and miles. We’ll stay near the shore, how’s that sound?”

“Okay,” Grace agrees, walking down the stairs with him.

“Hey,” Steve says as they approach the back door, “your sandcastle is still there.”

“It is!” she laughs, running for the mountain of sand. It fell a bit during the night, but there are still recognizable turrets and walls and towers, and there’s definitely water in the moat. “I thought it would be gone.”

“You’re just lucky, I guess,” Steve says, catching her hand again and wading into the water. “Ready to go?”

They swim for a while; Steve drags Grace from the water when he spots Danny emerging onto the lanai, coffee in hand. “You’re both early morning people,” Danny complains as he tosses Grace a towel. “It’s so unfair.”

“We got a swim in before you got up, Daddy,” Grace explains. “Now we can spend the whole day together and you don’t have to go in the water.”

“That is very considerate of you,” Danny tells her, his smile crinkling around his eyes. “What did you have planned for today?”

They spend the day watching movies on the couch, eating ridiculous amounts of junk food that Steve didn’t even know they owned, and laughing at the television. Grace gets more and more subdued as the day wears on, and she curls up into Steve as they start what Danny tells her will be the last movie before she has to go home. Steve wraps his arms around her and holds on, memorizing how she burrows into his chest, how Danny feels pressed up against him, one of his arms draped around Steve’s shoulders and his head right next to Grace’s. When the movie ends, Steve has no idea what it was about, but he’s okay with that.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Steve promises as he kneels to hug Grace in front of Rachel’s house. “I’ll think about you every day.”

“Here,” Grace says, sniffling as she reaches into her backpack. She pulls out a printed copy of the picture that he’d shown Danny the night before, the one of them building the sandcastle together. “Danno said you liked this one, so I asked him if he could print it out so I could give it to you.” She turns it over, and Steve can see that she’s written on the back. _Grace Face and Danno’s sandcastle. I love you, Steve._

Steve breathes as evenly as he can as he takes his wallet from his pocket and puts the picture carefully inside. “I’ll bring it with me,” he says. “That way you’ll come with me everywhere I go.”

It’s a teary goodbye, with more hugs than Steve thinks he’s gotten in years, but they finally make their way back to the car and towards the house. Danny sighs when they get inside, walking over to grab the DVD cases from the table.

“It’s a mess,” he mutters. “I love her dearly, but that child is a walking mess factory.”

“Danny,” Steve starts, frowning at Danny’s too-calm demeanor. The more Steve thinks about it, the more disquieting Danny’s non-reaction seems.

“I mean, do you see this stuff all over the place?” Danny continues, as if Steve hadn’t said anything. “I bet her room is a disaster zone, too.”

“I don’t get it,” Steve says, frustrated. “I really don’t, Danny. How can you be so calm about all of this?”

Danny goes stock-still, and it looks like he’s breathing very carefully. “Calm?” he asks, in the perfectly reasonable tone of voice that says he’s about ten seconds away from exploding. “You want to know why I’m calm, Steven?”

“I’m a little curious, yeah,” Steve replies. “Ever since you found out, you’ve just been this – this voice of reason-”

“Because you do not need me shooting my mouth off and losing my shit,” Danny snarls, and here’s the fight that Steve has been expecting. “Is this what you want, huh? You want me to yell at you, tell you how much I don’t fucking want you to leave me? Do you want to hear about how goddamned terrified I am that you’re going to walk into some jungle in Asia and never walk out again, or how I’m going to have to explain to Grace why you’re not coming home, that you left us to get the bad guy but the bad guy got you instead?”

Danny’s color is rising steadily as he goes, his hands flying wildly around. “I am not _calm_ , Steve. I am flipping out, okay, I am losing it on the inside, but I have been trying to keep that all where you can’t see it. I am a considerate man, and I know that this decision has not been easy for you. I know that you have this – this sense of duty and honor and whatever, and that if Grace and I weren’t a part of your life, then you wouldn’t have thought twice about leaving. So yes, I’ve been keeping to myself how much I want you to stay, because I know, Steve, I know that if I had asked you not to go, you wouldn’t have. Is that what you want me to say, huh?”

“Danny,” Steve says helplessly. It’s nothing he didn’t already know, he realizes dimly. It’s nothing that isn’t one hundred percent true.

“Fuck,” Danny swears, dropping onto the couch. He looks smaller, suddenly, worn out and exhausted in a way that even the worst cases haven’t left him.

“Feel better?” Steve asks, sitting beside him.

“No,” Danny chokes out, leaning into Steve. “No, now I’m pissed off _and_ I feel guilty for telling you that I’m pissed off, so no. No, now I feel worse.”

“I figured you weren’t actually okay with me leaving,” Steve admits. “You have to know that I’m coming back, Danny. I’m not leaving you on your own.”

“I want to believe that,” Danny replies, tucking himself against Steve’s chest. They’re half-sitting, half-laying on the couch. “You have no idea how much I want to take those words as the Gospel truth, Steve.”

“Marry me,” Steve murmurs into Danny’s hair. “When I get back. Marry me.”

Danny snorts. “Your timing sucks, babe,” he says. “Can you get any more fairy-tale ending? We must have watched too many movies today.”

“I’m not joking,” Steve tells him honestly. “I’m coming back here. To you. Marry me.”

“I’m not saying yes or no to that right now,” Danny says after a minute. “Ask me again when you get back and we’ll see.”

“Fair enough,” Steve agrees, and they lay together on the couch for a while, soaking in the details that Steve knows he’ll come back to when he’s gone.

It’s Danny who breaks the silence. “Will you call?” he asks, tracing the veins in the back of Steve’s hand with his fingertips.

“I will if I can,” Steve says. “I’ll have a sat phone, but I won’t always be able to talk.”

“If you call,” Danny says softly, “all you’ll have to do is listen.”

-0-

The hike passes uneventfully; Steve doesn’t sleep much the second night, but he passes out cold the third and wakes still tired. They’re in position, though, and everything seems to be checking out. Sykes spots Jun Wu in the town and signals, and Steve quickly splits the team into groups to keep tabs on the man as he goes about his business.

The takedown feels shockingly anticlimactic. Midway through the second day of observation, Jun Wu takes a walk near the edge of the woods, and Steve takes him out with a headshot. The team vanishes back into the jungle and heads to the evac point, and Steve spends the three days’ walk back wondering why it had been necessary for him to take this mission, why the team couldn’t have done it without him. His skills weren’t needed, and Steve feels a little like he’d been hoodwinked into it, because just over a week after they’d dropped into Laos, Steve and his team are being airlifted out.

“Target?” the contact officer asks as Steve climbs into the chopper.

“Neutralized,” Steve says, and it feels good, feels like he’s sitting down after running nonstop for months.

“Confirmed,” Benson adds from his right, and Steve shoots his team a tired smile. It’s done, it’s over, and Steve feels almost weightless.

When he falls asleep on the flight back, he doesn’t dream.

Getting back stateside is a convoluted mess; when the evac chopper sets down in western India, the team splits. They’ll all end up back in Norfolk, but they’ll travel separately. It’s an exercise Steve has gone through countless times, the cloak-and-dagger method of making sure at least one member of the team makes it back to debrief, but it’s not one of those things that Steve is going to be sorry he’s leaving behind.

Steve gets back to Norfolk first, and he’s put on stand down until the rest of the team gets in. He spends the two days between his arrival and when Amitz finally touches down thinking about Danny and Grace, about his team, about going home and staying put.

It takes four full days to get all the details recorded, and Steve spends them alternately recounting the same details over and over to different groups of people and pacing in his quarters, wishing he could pick up the phone and let Danny know that it’s all over. He’s still officially out of contact, though, so he waits and thinks about what he’ll say when he’s finally allowed to make the call.

Steve’s final debrief is with Admiral Moore. He recounts the details of the mission again and answers all of his questions, and it’s a grueling three hours before he leans back in his chair, apparently satisfied. “Good work, Commander.”

“Thank you, sir,” Steve replies.

Moore hesitates before taking a file from the desk. “I have another offer for you,” he says neutrally. “There’s an associate of Jun Wu’s that has come to our attention, and he’s been deemed enough of a threat to warrant being taken out of the picture.” He offers the file to Steve. “In fact, it was some of the intel that you provided that got us this name.”

Steve takes the file from Moore. “This is an offer?” he asks, clarifying. “Like this last mission was an offer?”

“It is,” Moore confirms. “Take it or leave it, Commander. We figured you might be interested because of the subject, but again, we can train someone else if you feel that you need to return to your task force.”

Steve flips the file open and glances down at the papers, connecting the printed names to faces he’s helped track down. He closes his eyes and breathes in, thinking about Grace’s delighted smile and the way Danny’s eyes crinkle when he’s happy, and when Steve blinks and looks at the file again, he knows what his answer has to be.

“Benson will get you what you need,” he says as he hands the file back to Moore. “I’ve got somewhere else I need to be.”

Moore stands, a smile on his face. “Thank you, Commander,” he says, reaching out to shake Steve’s hand. “We will take that into consideration.”

-0-

Moore arranges for Steve’s transportation, and Steve debates calling Danny to let him know, but he decides to go for the surprise instead. He’s stepping onto the tarmac at Hickam less than fifteen hours after he finishes his meetings. There’s an airman waiting to drive him home, and Steve spends the drive looking out at the bright colors and shapes of Hawaii, trying to soak in that feeling of home that he’s been missing for months.

Steve is out of the car almost the second it stops in the driveway; he thanks the airman as he’s walking towards the door. The key fits in the lock like it always has; the door creaks just as Steve remembers. There’s a towel tossed over the back of the couch and a plate on the coffee table, like Danny had wandered away in the middle of breakfast. Steve checks his watch; it’s just after noon on Friday. Danny’s probably at the office.

Steve drops his duffel and digs through his pockets, suddenly changing his mind about surprising Danny now that he’s so close. He stops and glances up as his fingers close around the phone in his pocket and finds Danny standing in the doorway to the kitchen, perfectly still, staring straight at Steve.

“Hey,” Steve says after a minute, and it breaks through whatever force is keeping Danny in place. He hurtles towards Steve, clutching at him like he’s starving for the contact. Steve stumbles back even as he’s dropping his phone and pulling Danny in tightly.

“Tell me you’re home,” Danny says into his chest. “Tell me you’re done.”

“Moore offered me another mission,” Steve replies, and Danny stiffens in his arms. “I turned him down.”

Danny makes a choking sound into Steve’s shoulder as he leans into Steve more fully. “You said no?”

“This guy I know told me that there’s always gonna be another one,” Steve says. “It’s not my fight any more.”

Danny finally draws back, though only far enough to look up and smile widely. “Sounds like a smart guy.”

“He has his moments,” Steve says solemnly before grinning down at Danny.

“God, I’m glad you’re home,” Danny breathes, brushing his fingertips across Steve’s cheek. Steve turns his face and brushes his lips against Danny’s fingers, his palm, and then he leans down and kisses Danny, feeling that last bit of home click into place.

“Marry me,” he says against Danny’s lips.

Danny half-laughs. “Of course.”

“No, I mean it,” Steve insists, pulling away and looking Danny in the eye. “I meant it when I asked you before I left, and-”

Danny rolls his eyes and raps his knuckles gently against the back of Steve’s head. “Of course I will,” he clarifies. “Like I was gonna say no.”

“Oh,” Steve replies, smile spreading across his face. “Oh.”

“Oh, he says,” Danny sighs, but he’s pulling Steve’s head down until their foreheads are resting together. “Oh, like that’s an acceptable way to celebrate an engagement, oh.”

“Oh,” Steve agrees, leaning the last few inches down to kiss Danny again, full of intent and promise and everything else he can’t quite find a name for. Danny kisses him back just as fiercely, pulling Steve in until there’s no space between them. It’s like discovering each other all over again, careful touches quickly turning frantic as they shed clothes and press closer until there’s nothing but skin beneath their fingers. It soothes the last troubled part of Steve’s mind as they move together, fingers ghosting over new scars and old, silent apologies for not being there but thankful for each other now.

When he finally drops off to sleep, curled around Danny and at home for the first time in months, Steve dreams of the ocean and the sky and Danny smiling, and finally feels at peace.


End file.
